A conqueror, a poor teddy bear or an exhibitionist, i.e. 50 shades of a rapist.
The conqueror syndrome
You know, that guy who thinks that everyone owes everything to him. Perhaps he’s a famous Hollywood producer, perhaps an actor. Or maybe simply his mummy convinced him that he’s the world’s eighth wonder. Unfortunately, sometimes that’s enough. He’s so cool and so deeply convinced of his coolness that life cannot refuse him anything. Especially pussy. It’s a guy who doesn’t understand the word ‘no’. For whom his own erection justifies all his actions.
Maybe he hasn’t always been like that? Maybe it was during all these pickup courses they taught him that the word ‘no’ doesn’t exist and the woman is simply an object he must collect. She’s not interested? She throws up when she sees you? Doesn’t matter! A true man must conquer a woman and put up her scalp on his trophy wall so that the very sight of it screams just how cool he is. The rule is simple - don’t let her off easily! If you’re importunate enough, she’ll surely say ‘yes’ eventually.
Don’t provoke the poor teddy bear!
This poor little teddy bear really doesn’t comprehend why you’re so arousing. Because if you’re so attractive, then it means that it’s for men. You’re doing it for him. It doesn’t matter that you were born like this and you have a great metabolism. He won’t even consider the possibility of you taking care of yourself in order to like what you see in the mirror, or that you’re simply vain and your ego doesn’t allow you to lower the bar. My dear, it’s all easy for him - if the way you look makes him hard, then there’s no doubt that you look like this to become his sex toy. I mean, you cannot expect this poor bear to control his dick? Do you know what kind of suffering you’re putting him through? You’re there to do what he wants! Who cares what you think about that when he’s in you. You’ll surely change your mind later because he’s just so cool - you’ll see yourself!
You can also make another kind of a mistake and be nice and well-behaved towards a guy. You have to take into consideration the fact that it’ll be misunderstood and your casual friendliness will be seen as an invitation to a much closer relationship. My friend recently spent her holidays in an exotic country with a group of friends. She shared a cabin with one of her male friends. He tried to get his hands on her the entire time even though she showed him from the get-go that friend zone is as far as it’ll ever go. The result was that one day she became furious and then felt guilty because of this uncontrollable fit. Until she found a pack of condoms in his drawer. Well, the poor bear spent his entire time working out a way to get into her pants - and undoubtedly had success in mind. Her only fault was that she was warm, alive and breathing. What’s more (what a crime!) she was his type and too close to him. So, having this long list of her misdoings in mind, he gave no fucks whether she was willing or not.
The diagnosis? Out of his mind!
They say it’s atavism. A primary force that runs in all men. So I’m asking - what atavism? Do I take bread from a shop without the owner’s consent because I happen to be hungry? Do I knock someone out and take his car keys to take a ride because I’ve dreamt about this all my life? No - because both the bread and the car are someone else’s property. And I don’t have any right to take the property away from them, simply because I feel that I deserve that bread or that ride in a Jaguar. In the same way my body is my property, just like my personal space and my right to say ‘no’.Girls, how many times, in response to ‘no’, ‘stop’ or ‘I’m not interested’, have you heard ‘but it’s YOUR fault because you’re so beautiful!’? How often do rape victims hear that they are the guilty ones because they were wearing too short of a skirt? Because they ‘tempted fate’? Well, it’s good to know that man is a creature completely deprived of a brain. It’s worth noting that when he has an erection, he’s not capable of controlling himself. As a matter of fact, a man with an erection is out of his mind! I only wonder why we’re not using the same twisted logic when it comes to murderers, drug dealers and thieves? ‘Your honour, I plead not guilty because the victim was so annoying that I just had to slit her throat’. ‘Your honour, I plead not guilty, I strangulated my baby with a pillow because its crying for 20 hours straight was unbearable’. One can come up with examples of this kind forever. It looks like all the unpleasantries in life are bearable and not one of them can be considered a mitigating circumstance. None, except the lack of possibility to get your dick into a woman - that’s a discomfort that no one can bear, one that justifies all crimes. I’m sure that for killing a burglar while he’s trying to get inside my house (which I would do in a heartbeat), I would get a sentence higher than a rapist. But so what, I was only defending my property (and perhaps my life). Whereas he must have been in a much bigger ‘need’.
And here I don’t only mean rape, sensu stricto. I also mean harassment. I don’t force my way into someone’s house (by the way I’m a huge fan of the law in Texas - the burglar has to keep in mind that he may be shot and no one will feel sorry for him). I don’t use people’s things without asking them and receiving a clear consent. But for a guy with a rapist syndrome, every way to come all over the woman he wants, is good. And the opportunities are endless. You won’t put out - you won’t be promoted. You won’t put out - I’ll ruin your career. You won’t put out - I won’t leave you alone. Or I’ll just throw a roofie into your drink and I’ll make my way into your ass in general anaesthesia.
A friend invite = a bed invite?
What about social media? After all, girls show their bodies there too, isn’t that considered provocation?! I often hear such accusations. But wait, I never noticed that posting photos of your fancy car was considered an invitation for a trip for everyone who sees the said photo. It’s my body - I’m proud of it and I have every right to show it off because it costs me a lot of effort to like this. And it’s all about beauty, aesthetic, not sex! The fact that I leave comments on my friend’s erotic drawings on Instagram may mean that I simply like them. Maybe I like eroticism and I like sex. But with my man. With a man I want and like. That’s not a reason to spam me with dick pics. Please understand that I have no interest in your dick, even if it’s knee-length (although usually the ones in the photos sent to me are tiny and pathetic). Such a photo evokes about as many emotions in a woman as a photo of raw meat. In the best case scenario, it causes indifference or a pitiful smile. In the worst case scenario - it causes disgust. The one thing it definitely doesn’t cause is arousal. A dick out of context never sparks arousal, remember that, I’m begging you! It’s nothing but exhibitionism, just like running around a park with your cock hanging out. Although in that case the culprit usually ends up behind the bars.Do you understand why it’s so bad? Because I don’t want it. And I don’t recall ever sending photos of my tits or my pussy to some random guy just because I liked his face or abs in a photo online. I’m not saying there aren’t girls who do that. Probably there are. Probably some men like it, but I’m guessing there are also others who feel just as bad about it as I do. The curious thing it that those men who can justify everything by the needs of their cocks, suddenly change their mind when they’re the ones in the position of a victim. And for that reason think for a moment - what would you feel like if some stranger would spam your inbox with photos of their dick? If your boss offered you a promotion in exchange for a blowjob? If a friend would shove his hand into your underwear during a night in a tent while camping, or if you woke up in a place you don’t know, not remembering anything or realising that someone had fucked you in the ass? And who’s to blame? If you decided to have a few drinks, you’re to blame. Or maybe your trousers were too tight? And when after a few years you’ll finally get yourself together and decide to tell someone about it, you’ll hear that you made it all up. That if it were true, you would have told right away. Then there are people who will start shouting: ‘but I’m straight!’. I’m sorry but the fact that you’re straight doesn’t mean that out of all people it’s YOU whom I see in a sexual way. Maybe I’m disgusted by you more than you are by the notion of having sex with another man? Or maybe to me you’re completely asexual and you don’t evoke any sort of feelings in me? Yes, I know, it’s not something you can understand!
Hurt pride knows no forgiveness
A rejected man who also happens to have the rapist syndrome will call you names in the best case scenario. In reality he thinks that you’re the one hurting him. Seriously. That’s what he thinks. How many times have you found yourself in a situation where a man keeps messaging you saying how beautiful, sexy, intelligent and wonderful you are but the second you blow him off, you suddenly become whores, sluts with an ass that’s either too big or too small and so on? It’s an unforgivable sin: you failed to see the awesomeness in the poor bear, the eighth wonder of the world enough to spread your legs in front of him. That’s not the way you treat people! If I published a list of names I’ve been delightfully called in my life, we would end up with a book longer than ‘The Lord of the Rings’. And the only reason why I’ve been given the opportunity to hear those names is because I can say ‘NO’.I don’t know why I’m writing all of this. The main hero of these musings won’t see any sense in it anyway. I’ve explained these things to so many guys that I’ve lost hope - now I know that nothing will ever get through to a brain flooded with sperm. Maybe I’m writing this to remind all the women of something important. You deserve unconditional respect! Whenever someone attempts to discredit you or question your worth, that’s only because he can’t control himself and you shouldn’t give a damn. That we can surely do.
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