The customer is always right? Not necessarily…

Lately I become more and more frustrated with customer service in various service points. The biggest issue is I think with the way shops treat their customers. I’ll be honest – shopping is a nightmare for me. I hate it. Probably because I’m an elusive phenomenon: a customer who knows what they want. Who wants to buy it and leave. And no trick will ever work on me.

The nightmare in a shopping mall

The fact alone that I have to wander around the entire shopping mall to buy what I need pisses me off and discourages me from doing any shopping at all. Just the same as those fucking shopping carts that keep swerving left and right and keeping them in a straight position requires the strength of an ox. But nothing can drive me away from buying what I’d set off to buy. The impudence of sales assistants is frustrating and even more so their lack of competence. Quick rotation in poorly paid jobs causes a situation in which I’m advised by a dilettante, who knows less about the product they’re trying to sell me than I do. I cannot comprehend how it pays the store chains. Wouldn’t it be better to come up with an efficient commission system, which would make the employee stay there for a bit longer and what would follow – they would find out more about the items they sell and as a result would increase sales? Is it really not possible to invest a little bit in training and even slightly higher salaries for these people?

How to make an idiot out of a customer?

An even more annoying thing is umbrella sales. What happens here is that a customer is made into an idiot and treated accordingly. I’m extremely curious as to who these idiots responsible for the quality of customer care are. Something tells me that these are people who never had anything to do with dealing with customers directly. In my personal ranking of the most annoying sales personnel the winners are: Sephora, Intimissimi, Calzedonia and Empik. Don’t be fooled thinking that you’ll manage to quickly get rid of the problem – the second you’ll send away one sales assistant, another one appears, and then another one and another! What the fuck! Is it really so hard to understand that I want to be left alone? Of course don’t even get me started on the fact that ladies and gentlemen working there have no knowledge about the cosmetics or current collections they have on sale. My personal favourite was a sales assistant in a men’s fashion store offering tailor made luxurious products, who didn’t know what an English coat was… In Empik, for a change, the personnel is nowhere to be found and the line borders on 500m but the second you get to the till they’ll try to force all kinds of crap on you. I’m starting to feel like I’m in a Chinese market! Perhaps in cases of mentally weak individuals who are prone to manipulation, forcing things on people works. The problem is that everything can be returned. Yes, I’ll say it again: it can be returned! All those placards at the tills that say ‘Purchased goods cannot be returned’ are nothing but bullshit and it’s worth remembering that. I once had an issue with returning shoes bought at Loft37 (it turned out one of the heels was crooked). I asked my lawyer for advice. And you know what? The problem vanished – because refusing to accept a return is illegal!

Kitchen nightmares and a hell hotel

Time for restaurants. So, finding a restaurant with an alright staff borders on a miracle. Ah, I simply love the enthusiastic ‘Of course!’ repeated over and over again by the waiters or the genial questions whether I like the dish when I clearly have my mouth filled with it (as if they really couldn’t ask that later). Not to mention the fact that whenever I’m in a hurry, and I usually am in a hurry, because my day is not made out of rubber, I wait for the bill for 30 minutes. And the waiter stops taking any interest in me the second I finish my meal. And who cares that the food was heaven-sent if instead of that one hour I had planned for lunch or dinner, I used an hour and forty-five minutes and I’m late to everywhere else. But should I blame the waiter for that? No, because in no way is it their fault. They are simply underinvested or badly trained. Let’s talk about hotels. Every time I ask for a late check out (which is extra paid), at 11, 12 or 1pm I receive a phone call from the front desk. Yes, it even happens at 5-star hotels. I don’t think I have to explain how frustrating it is when I’m exhausted after a red eye flight, I have a period of insomnia and then I finally manage to fall asleep and then… someone wakes me up. Only because one lady is incapable of informing another lady that in this particular room there’s a guest who doesn’t wish to be disturbed. Because someone cannot be bothered checking the booking.

It’s possible to sell with reason

I don’t know who teaches all these people sales and customer service and how. I was taught differently. First of all, you need to allow the customer to walk inside the shop in the first place. Say ‘Good morning!’ and not impose yourself on them! When they need something they will simply make eye contact. Secondly, you need to have some sort of knowledge about the product you’re selling. What’s more you need to have faith in the said product. And thirdly: link selling. It works, it really does. If for example I’m buying a tourist guide, the wonderful staff could figure out that perhaps what I need is something related to the place I’m planning on visiting rather than a chocolate bar or some other crap. Or when I’m buying something at Sephora, I could perhaps choose a lip liner that will complement the lipstick I’m purchasing or a lip gloss that will make it pop. Or a blush. It all works! As opposed to umbrella sales which is annoying. Why would I be interested in buying products that no one else wants to buy? Fourthly, I really don’t like listening to the staff talk about their private lives. Good upbringing and respect towards the customer above all else.

It’s always all about the money

Just to make it clear – I am capable of appreciating good service. Almost always do I give tips (someone has to really annoy me for me not to do that) and my favourite service points always receive good feedback. I don’t even try on clothes. I’m really not a difficult, unpleasant or aggravating customer. I only expect to receive the kind of service I pay for. Nothing more. And to get everything done as quickly as possible. Unfortunately, online shopping doesn’t solve my problem. It’s hard to name a more churlish, frustrated and tired occupational group than couriers. A kind food delivery guy usually receives a tip of 20-30PLN from me, that’s how rare they are. More often than not they’re rude, snappy, don’t like their job and demand that I’m at home at 2pm. I wait anxiously for the moment when customer service standards improve at least a little bit. One thing’s for sure – as long as the employees in Polish companies are not decently paid (although it doesn’t necessarily mean a higher salary, commission system is a much better solution) and decently trained, as long as the standards are not set by experts and people climbing up the career ladder and not people who get their jobs because of friends, nepotism and on the whim of the HR, so long there’ll be no possibility of anything improving. So far it’s getting worse and there’s no light in the tunnel. All the companies whose services and products I buy, will be systematically mentioned on this blog.